January 11, 2012

In Gervais We Trust

Ricky Gervias has balls. Major balls. Balls made of titanium and laced with kryptonite. The man could care less. And you know what? Thank. God.

Now it's okay to admit that you were a little uncomfortable last year when Ricky started his monologue with this:

And it's alright if a slight gasp escaped your lips when he said....

But you cannot tell me that inside you weren't doing a fist pump because you knew he was speaking the truth. The whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We mere mortals who sit in front of our TVs watching these awards shows LOVE when celebs are knocked down a peg or two. That's why the public's response to Ricky was overwhelmingly positive. We love him! This average guy who does not feel the need to kiss butt and cater to the Adonises and Goddesses dressed in Tom Ford and Valentino, totally said what everyone was thinking. All that glitz and glamor doesn't change the fact that The Tourist sucked, or that the SATC women are air brushed to death, or that Scientology creeps us all out.

Is it fair? I mean, celebrities are just  hyped up, better looking, wealthier versions of you and me. Do they deserve this kind of ripping and dose of reality in their quaint Hollywood bubble?

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.-Mark Russell

So who do you think Ricky will go after on Sunday?

My list:
  • James Franco and his lack luster hosting job at the Oscars
  • Eddie Murphy blowing his Oscar hosting job
  • Lindsay Lohan (because it's Lindsay Lohan)
  • Kim Kardashain (because she's Kim freaking Kardashian)
  • Hollywood's Goldens: Leo, George, and Brad (Maybe, a swing a Fassbender for his risque debut in Shame)
  • Tom and the Scientologist (because once wasn't enough)
  • Billy Crystal (hosting the Oscars for the upteenth time)
  • All the people who didn't want him back for a 2nd time
  • God  
Don't lie. You can't wait for it to go down.

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